The Happiness Hierarchy

There have been multiple occasions during the last two weeks when I have been so happy that I lose impulse control and start screaming, dancing, or hugging people (which I never do otherwise, of course). That is, I am at the top of the life roller coaster, and some of these things have helped:

• Feeling more certain about post-grad service: I haven't felt such passion (or fear, which pales in comparison) for anything in a long time.
• Having fun: taking my newly-21-best-friend out to bars and to the best dance club in LA, being Mary Poppins for Halloween, playing a game of King Frog in Campus Ministry that I will never forget
• Forming new friendships with incredible people on campus whom I never before had either the time or guts to meet...and the relieving realization that it's never too late!
• Singing at the Vatican in June?? So I recently realized that next semester will be my last opportunity to be in choir in a long time, and I wanted to re-audition. I sent the director, Dr. Mary Breden, a letter of inquiry about joining up again, and she responded:
• I was so pleased to hear from you and would love to have you singing in the Women's Chorus. You do not need to re-audition--you can simply register. Just a heads up in case you haven't heard, the choruses will be traveling to Italy next June for a wonderful number of performances in Venice, Lucca (Tuscany) and Rome, including singing a Mass at St. Peter's Basilica. We are working to fund as much of the trip as possible. If you want more information on the tour, please stop by my office. I look forward to having you back singing!
• Making fitness a part of my daily regimen, and feeling better about myself because of it
• Preparing for a silent retreat and service trip to East LA in December and January
• Going back to Oregon, but for the first time calling it home (also, beginning the endeavor to turn my bedroom into Middle Earth)
• Christmas approaching...

I have never denied how grateful I am for my life (though I sometimes forget). But as I finished this list, I became my pensive self. I could write an entire page full of exciting possibilities like these. But what if I wasn't 21, if I didn't live in Oregon, if I wasn't going to Italy, if I didn't put together a hard-core Halloween costume? Then what would I be excited or grateful for? The list simplifies a bit:

• Health. Being able to see, eat, swallow, breathe. My heartbeat.
• Having food to eat and money to spend every day.
  
• An education at a fantastic institution which has opened my eyes.
• A family who never says no. I love you, Mom and Dad.
• Intimate friends who would jump off a bridge with me if I asked them (though I am not planning to test that theory)
• Being myself: tenacity, intelligence, curiosity, humor, expression, depth, even strawberry blonde-ness (trust me, the world is so much more exciting with that going for me)
• Existence itself...wow. Thank you!
• God

Writing and re-reading the last few entries to this list calms my sheer excitement into awe. Look at what I have, what all of us have, if we take a moment to process it. Then tell me you don't have a reason to be happy.
I remember my facebook status a year or so ago being "Heather has too many reasons to be happy. Anyone want to share?" That sentiment has returned. And now that it has, I wonder if there was ever even a moment when it wasn't true.